Why California schools shouldn’t keep secrets from parents

Credit: Alison Yin / EdSource

California has been on a dangerous crusade to erode parental rights. By misinterpreting state law, teachers are being induced to withhold information from parents about their child. A portion of the state’s education code (sometimes referred as AB 1266) is being incorrectly used to bar parents from learning that their child has adopted a new gender identity.

California law does not sanction schools to keep information hidden from parents. Education Code Section 51101(a)(10) requires that teachers provide parents with their child’s school records. Federal law requires transparency. Under the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, parents have “the right to … review the education records of their children.”

Our Duty, a parent group, sponsored Assembly Bill 1314, which would have returned to parents their constitutional position as overseers of the education, care, custody and control of their children. Our Duty is a nonpartisan group (although a large percentage of members are Democrats), is not affiliated with any religion and membership includes lesbian and gay parents. Some members are parents of detransitioners – those who believed they were a different gender than their sex and who went on puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones, or underwent surgeries to pass as their desired gender, but then returned to identifying as their sex. Other members are parents of desisters — those who firmly believed that they were a different gender but who returned to identifying as their sex prior to medicalizing. Most members are parents of children still identifying as the gender opposite their sex.

AB 1314 would simply have required that schools let parents know that their child is suffering from gender dysphoria or incongruence. It would have granted parents the opportunity to support their own child and be involved in the life-changing decision to transition. The bill would not have required a teacher to use any particular name nor ensure that the bathroom used comport with the child’s sex.

It is natural for children to worry their parents might be uncomfortable with their announcement, but their discomfort has never dissuaded teachers from informing parents of declining grades, absenteeism or conduct problems. In all of these cases, teachers know that parents are best equipped to manage and support their children.

Our Duty works with thousands of parents of gender-confused kids, and not a single family has in any way rejected their child when he adopted a transgender identity. No data exists showing that parents are engaging in abusive behavior towards their gender-confused children. Laws exist that protect children from abuse, and teachers, as mandatory reporters, should always report abuse. Unfounded concern about abuse is not a valid criterion for keeping parents uninformed about their child’s gender confusion.

Children routinely change their minds about gender. In the case of Jessica Konen v. Spreckels, once the middle-schooler left her public school, she returned to identifying as her female self. In Regino v. Chico Unified, a fifth grader believed that she was transgender, but once she left the school, she too returned to identifying as her sex. There are over 45,500 members on detrans/Reddit — a moderated site for those who are feeling regret and concern over their transition. Detransition and desistence is neither uncommon nor unexpected for a cohort in the midst of identity development and subject to peer, mentor and social media pressure.

Best practices exist for dealing with this issue. Schools that immediately presume that affirmation is the correct approach do a disservice to their students. Erica Anderson, Ph.D, is a trans woman, clinical psychologist of 40 years, former board member of the World Professional Association of Transgender Health (WPATH), and former president of the U.S. arm of WPATH who also worked at the pediatric gender clinic at Benioff Children’s Hospital for five years. She recently filed an expert brief in which she states that parent involvement is essential whenever a child indicates a desire to change their name, pronouns, preferred bathroom facilities, hairstyles or clothing so as to match an opposite gender.

It is Anderson’s professional opinion that parents must play a role in their child’s gender decision-making. She states that (1) social issues are leading the surge in the number of minors stating they are trans; (2) gender identity may not persist, and social transition has a direct effect on that outcome; (3) social transition is a psychosocial medical treatment; (4) minors with gender dysphoria need careful mental health evaluations; (5) social transition for minors is not endorsed by any medical societies, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association, Endocrine Society, and WPATH, without in-depth mental health assessments; (6) the number of children desisting/detransitioning is growing; and (7) no medical association has “endorsed school-facilitated social transition without parental consent.”

Schools are encouraging immediate social transition at the first signs of a student exhibiting gender incongruence without parent involvement. Removing parents, who know their child’s mental health history, past traumas and struggles, will result in harm.

Schools do not take the place of parents. Schools are in session 180 days a year, but parents are present 365 days. If gender-questioning kids are more likely to have suicidal ideation, it is imperative that parents are alerted about any signs that their child is struggling with gender. Schools have neither the expertise nor the mandate to manage dangerous mental health situations.

California’s Assembly Education Committee chair, Al Muratsuchi, refused to even grant a hearing on AB 1314. Why? Because he knows parents will support this bill — 75% of parents surveyed don’t want schools keeping secrets from parents.

Parents and teachers used to be partners. If you think it’s wrong to lie to parents and remove their legal right to guide their child’s education, and dangerous to remove a child’s crucial source of support, contact your school board and tell them you want a policy that reflects an open and honest partnership between parents and teachers.

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Erin Friday is a California attorney and a mother of two teenagers. She is co-lead of Our Duty, a parent support group that is skeptical of transgenderism and advocates that the medical pathway for young people struggling with gender identity is harmful.

Note: This commentary has been updated with a more complete description of the writer and the organization she represents.

The opinions expressed in this commentary represent those of the author. EdSource welcomes commentaries representing diverse points of view. If you would like to submit a commentary, please review our guidelines and contact us.

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