Credit: Alison Yin / EdSource
Credit: Alison Yin / EdSourceCalifornia has been on a dangerous crusade to erode parental rights. By misinterpreting state law, teachers are being induced to withhold information from parents about their child. A portion of the state’s education code (sometimes referred as AB 1266) is being incorrectly used to bar parents from learning that their child has adopted a new gender identity.
California law does not sanction schools to keep information hidden from parents. Education Code Section 51101(a)(10) requires that teachers provide parents with their child’s school records. Federal law requires transparency. Under the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, parents have “the right to … review the education records of their children.”
Our Duty, a parent group, sponsored Assembly Bill 1314, which would have returned to parents their constitutional position as overseers of the education, care, custody and control of their children. Our Duty is a nonpartisan group (although a large percentage of members are Democrats), is not affiliated with any religion and membership includes lesbian and gay parents. Some members are parents of detransitioners – those who believed they were a different gender than their sex and who went on puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones, or underwent surgeries to pass as their desired gender, but then returned to identifying as their sex. Other members are parents of desisters — those who firmly believed that they were a different gender but who returned to identifying as their sex prior to medicalizing. Most members are parents of children still identifying as the gender opposite their sex.
AB 1314 would simply have required that schools let parents know that their child is suffering from gender dysphoria or incongruence. It would have granted parents the opportunity to support their own child and be involved in the life-changing decision to transition. The bill would not have required a teacher to use any particular name nor ensure that the bathroom used comport with the child’s sex.
It is natural for children to worry their parents might be uncomfortable with their announcement, but their discomfort has never dissuaded teachers from informing parents of declining grades, absenteeism or conduct problems. In all of these cases, teachers know that parents are best equipped to manage and support their children.
Our Duty works with thousands of parents of gender-confused kids, and not a single family has in any way rejected their child when he adopted a transgender identity. No data exists showing that parents are engaging in abusive behavior towards their gender-confused children. Laws exist that protect children from abuse, and teachers, as mandatory reporters, should always report abuse. Unfounded concern about abuse is not a valid criterion for keeping parents uninformed about their child’s gender confusion.
Children routinely change their minds about gender. In the case of Jessica Konen v. Spreckels, once the middle-schooler left her public school, she returned to identifying as her female self. In Regino v. Chico Unified, a fifth grader believed that she was transgender, but once she left the school, she too returned to identifying as her sex. There are over 45,500 members on detrans/Reddit — a moderated site for those who are feeling regret and concern over their transition. Detransition and desistence is neither uncommon nor unexpected for a cohort in the midst of identity development and subject to peer, mentor and social media pressure.
Best practices exist for dealing with this issue. Schools that immediately presume that affirmation is the correct approach do a disservice to their students. Erica Anderson, Ph.D, is a trans woman, clinical psychologist of 40 years, former board member of the World Professional Association of Transgender Health (WPATH), and former president of the U.S. arm of WPATH who also worked at the pediatric gender clinic at Benioff Children’s Hospital for five years. She recently filed an expert brief in which she states that parent involvement is essential whenever a child indicates a desire to change their name, pronouns, preferred bathroom facilities, hairstyles or clothing so as to match an opposite gender.
It is Anderson’s professional opinion that parents must play a role in their child’s gender decision-making. She states that (1) social issues are leading the surge in the number of minors stating they are trans; (2) gender identity may not persist, and social transition has a direct effect on that outcome; (3) social transition is a psychosocial medical treatment; (4) minors with gender dysphoria need careful mental health evaluations; (5) social transition for minors is not endorsed by any medical societies, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association, Endocrine Society, and WPATH, without in-depth mental health assessments; (6) the number of children desisting/detransitioning is growing; and (7) no medical association has “endorsed school-facilitated social transition without parental consent.”
Schools are encouraging immediate social transition at the first signs of a student exhibiting gender incongruence without parent involvement. Removing parents, who know their child’s mental health history, past traumas and struggles, will result in harm.
Schools do not take the place of parents. Schools are in session 180 days a year, but parents are present 365 days. If gender-questioning kids are more likely to have suicidal ideation, it is imperative that parents are alerted about any signs that their child is struggling with gender. Schools have neither the expertise nor the mandate to manage dangerous mental health situations.
California’s Assembly Education Committee chair, Al Muratsuchi, refused to even grant a hearing on AB 1314. Why? Because he knows parents will support this bill — 75% of parents surveyed don’t want schools keeping secrets from parents.
Parents and teachers used to be partners. If you think it’s wrong to lie to parents and remove their legal right to guide their child’s education, and dangerous to remove a child’s crucial source of support, contact your school board and tell them you want a policy that reflects an open and honest partnership between parents and teachers.
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Erin Friday is a California attorney and a mother of two teenagers. She is co-lead of Our Duty, a parent support group that is skeptical of transgenderism and advocates that the medical pathway for young people struggling with gender identity is harmful.
Note: This commentary has been updated with a more complete description of the writer and the organization she represents.
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Comments (52)
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Abby Cada 1 month ago1 month ago
Thank you for publishing this article. What is happening in schools is appalling. These teachers, counselors and school administrators are in these kids' lives for a relatively short amount of time. Yet they are influencing these kids at a critical time of development, communicating to them that keeping secrets from their parents is okay. No one is asking the schools to 'out' sexual orientation. Changing names and pronouns is a completely different ballgame. Where will … Read More
Thank you for publishing this article. What is happening in schools is appalling. These teachers, counselors and school administrators are in these kids’ lives for a relatively short amount of time. Yet they are influencing these kids at a critical time of development, communicating to them that keeping secrets from their parents is okay. No one is asking the schools to ‘out’ sexual orientation. Changing names and pronouns is a completely different ballgame. Where will the schools be when the kids medicalize? When there are complications? If there is regret.
Schools shouldn’t be keeping secrets. It is wrong when there is so much at stake. If abuse is suspected, there is are avenues to handle that. Names and pronouns, no. A school can’t give my kids Tylenol. But they can lead kids on the road to Big Pharma without parental communication. Something needs to change. This is unacceptable. Schools should be in partnership with families. I hope the current environment changes. It’s disconcerting having kids in schools right now.
Kyle Knight 2 months ago2 months ago
Great article, Erin! Shame on Al Muratsuchi! https://citizengo.org/en/210715-stop-school-secrets-parents-have-right-know-when-their-child-identifying-gender-does-not?tcid=105994946
Meredith Bell Brown 2 months ago2 months ago
Grateful for this article and the work of sour Duty. Curious about whether these bills apply to private schools as well as public? (Parent of a recently trans-identified teen attending a private high school in San Francisco.)
Jennifer Kennedy Esq 2 months ago2 months ago
Excellent article! Here's a stupid thing about the Parent Secrecy Policies: they insist that everyone possible on campus be made aware of the child's social transition, so as to be sure to not misgender the child or, God forbid, use the child's real name instead of the made-up one. This means that teachers, admins, the school secretary, even a fellow classmate's parent who volunteers on campus all get to know about this child's … Read More
Excellent article! Here’s a stupid thing about the Parent Secrecy Policies: they insist that everyone possible on campus be made aware of the child’s social transition, so as to be sure to not misgender the child or, God forbid, use the child’s real name instead of the made-up one. This means that teachers, admins, the school secretary, even a fellow classmate’s parent who volunteers on campus all get to know about this child’s social transition … everyone except the actual parent. Totally backwards.
Yet schools claim they are entitled to keep all of this information a secret from the parents. But what if the girl who uses the boys’ bathroom is victimized in that bathroom? What if the boy who presents as a girl is bullied or injured by other boys? Schools are obligated to report such injuries to parents – and now the cat’s out of the bag that the injury resulted directly from the social transition!
Why are schools preferring to put children at risk of violence instead of informing parents that their children might need help and guidance? Why must a child get hurt before parents are told? That’s why California so desperately needed AB 1314, the Parents Need to Know Act sponsored by OurDuty.group. Before parents can be expected to be supportive, parents need to know.
Gaylon Parsons 2 months ago2 months ago
Reactionary trash that harms young people. Others may be circumspect, but this is transphobic hate.
Celina 2 months ago2 months ago
Not all parents have their child's best interest at heart and that is apparent through the thousands of children sent to conversion camps every year. The idea that it is always safe to out a child to their parents is insane. I find it interesting that the author says that parents and teacher used to be partners, implying that teachers broke this relationship. Parents are awful to educators. Parents chose to let someone else raise … Read More
Not all parents have their child’s best interest at heart and that is apparent through the thousands of children sent to conversion camps every year. The idea that it is always safe to out a child to their parents is insane.
I find it interesting that the author says that parents and teacher used to be partners, implying that teachers broke this relationship. Parents are awful to educators. Parents chose to let someone else raise their children for a quarter of their waking time in a year for free and then degrade and fight those same people. Parents demand teachers have higher education and more training, but then say that as parents they are more educated on what their children need.
Parents can’t have it both ways. Teachers aren’t medically transitioning students at school. They are respecting what a student wants to be called. They have done this for decades when a student goes by a nickname or a middle name. This author makes teachers out to be these evil creatures stealing children from their parents when in reality they are just people trying to do their jobs and keep from getting attacked by crazy parents. If parents seriously feel like they can’t trust their schools, then they shouldn’t be sending their children there. It’s not like there aren’t other options. This group sounds like a bunch of parents who let their kids transition and now regret it and are trying to push the blame on anyone else.
Gina Gleason 2 months ago2 months ago
No one loves a child more than the parents. Not even a great school teacher. You can take my home, cars, job, and all my material belongings, but you cannot take my children, and my right to raise them as I believe. I’m sure most parents feel the same. Thank you Erin.
Paula Warren 2 months ago2 months ago
Schools have been advocating, pushing and even begging for parent involvement for years because it’s proven to help a child in any situation. Now when mental health is a common issue for children is when they need it the most. I am an advocate for children, parents, families and teachers all coming together on this and agree AB 1314 would have upheld best practice. It’s time to come together in love for our kids.
Betsy 2 months ago2 months ago
Ms. Friday makes unfounded accusations against teachers and schools. These are experienced, dedicated professionals who make a real difference in the lives of vulnerable teens. Friday's claims ignore the reasons that the CA Legislature passed minor consent laws for children 12 and over. These laws were put into place in 1992, over 30 years ago, and have helped to protect the physical and emotional health of minor children whose choices and situations have put them … Read More
Ms. Friday makes unfounded accusations against teachers and schools. These are experienced, dedicated professionals who make a real difference in the lives of vulnerable teens. Friday’s claims ignore the reasons that the CA Legislature passed minor consent laws for children 12 and over. These laws were put into place in 1992, over 30 years ago, and have helped to protect the physical and emotional health of minor children whose choices and situations have put them in harm’s way.
Every teacher, administrator, and counselor I’ve known tries hard to convince students in crisis to include their parents in problem solving. There are times when students risk homelessness or severe mental and physical abuse if parents are told about pregnancies, homosexuality, or even interracial or religious dating. 7% of our youth identify as LGBT but they make up 40% of our homeless youth.
The risk is real. In other cases, students do tell parents, often with a counselor present, and rediscover that their parents love them and support them. Many teens in crisis tell their friends. The friend tells a counselor or their own parent. These teens in crisis will only talk to an adult if there is a promise of confidentiality. Confidentiality helps to keep teens in their homes where they are safer. School personnel continue to work with students, encouraging them to include their parents, to trust that love will conquer all while also protecting teens who refuse to talk to their parents, who would rather live on the streets than risk their wrath.
Replies
Erin Friday 2 months ago2 months ago
Since counselors have starting keeping secrets from parents 13 years ago - suicides of youth I have markedly increases as have self-harm, cutting, depression, anxiety. (Citations Jean Twenge and CDC) My child’s school went behind my back and changed my child’s name. The school failed to respond to our request for records fully. Read the lawsuits. There are least 5 in CA now with more on the way. I am gobsmacked that the words detransition … Read More
Since counselors have starting keeping secrets from parents 13 years ago – suicides of youth I have markedly increases as have self-harm, cutting, depression, anxiety. (Citations Jean Twenge and CDC) My child’s school went behind my back and changed my child’s name. The school failed to respond to our request for records fully. Read the lawsuits. There are least 5 in CA now with more on the way. I am gobsmacked that the words detransition and desistence would be called inflammatory. Watch Affirmation Generation and Saving Our Sisters- both free films that tell the truth about transgenderism. Read about Jaime Reed the whistle blower in MO. Know the facts. When schools started telling kids that they could have been born in the wrong body, an explosion of kids thinking that everything is wrong with them occurred. It’s a terrible thing to tell a kid who doesn’t fit societal norms of how a boy should be that everything is wrong with him, his face, his chest, his genitals, his voice. He is just a perfectly feminine boy. No alteration necessary. That is kindness. That is love. That is acceptance. Each “trans” child is worth over $1 m dollars to the medical complex. Ten years ago there was under 10 gender clinic now they are everywhere. Nothing in medicine increases 5000 percent organically. Critical thinking has disappeared.
Eleanor Sledgwick 2 months ago2 months ago
You’re conflating student privacy with suicide, which is ridiculous. The pandemic had much more to do with the suicide rate than parents being kept in the dark because their children feared them.
Arwen 2 months ago2 months ago
Ms. Friday's accusations against teachers and schools are neither unfounded nor incorrect. There are plenty of stupid, biased and partisan people in education, just as there are in every other profession. And being in the education industry does not imbue any human with infallibility, especially when that "professional" is told repeatedly that they are the expert and they have the power. We are all learning daily about new instances in which the … Read More
Ms. Friday’s accusations against teachers and schools are neither unfounded nor incorrect. There are plenty of stupid, biased and partisan people in education, just as there are in every other profession. And being in the education industry does not imbue any human with infallibility, especially when that “professional” is told repeatedly that they are the expert and they have the power. We are all learning daily about new instances in which the “professionals” made horrible mistakes, mistakes that can never be repaired.
Life is messy and hard and removing the person who loves a child best may be correct in a rare circumstance, but absolutely not as the standard of practice. That is a gross overstep. Add to it the rhetoric that these “professionals” state as truth, that is pro-trans, and you have the recipe for the wholesale destruction of lives. Any educator that tells a child that he or she is “born in the wrong body” is an abusive person and should be both fired and prosecuted.
David Young 2 months ago2 months ago
I agree completely with Anne D. As a former School Psychologist and Licensed Educational Psychologist, we have moral, ethical, and legal obligations to involve, inform, and obtain consent to work with their child. I never once had to secure a teacher’s or administrater’s consent to observe, assess, or counsel a child. Parents yes, bureaucrats no.
Michele Cooper 2 months ago2 months ago
I stand in support of parental rights, and am opposed to secrecy policies that our local district has adopted. Our local school board is currently being sued in federal court by Aurora Regino, for socially transitioning her child without her knowledge. Even with this lawsuit, the school board refuses to change their policy. We are living amongst those who wish to separate our children from loving and caring parents. Parents need to step … Read More
I stand in support of parental rights, and am opposed to secrecy policies that our local district has adopted. Our local school board is currently being sued in federal court by Aurora Regino, for socially transitioning her child without her knowledge. Even with this lawsuit, the school board refuses to change their policy. We are living amongst those who wish to separate our children from loving and caring parents. Parents need to step up and fight these radical policies with everything they have.
Nichole 2 months ago2 months ago
Spot in article. Parents are, and should always be, the primary guiding light and source of support and love for their children. The government and the school system have no business inserting themselves as divisive wall between parents and their children. Their actions introducing legislation to tear apart families and immediately affirm gender-questioning youth can be very harmful and the government encouraging schools to buy into their leftist ideology meant to break apart family units … Read More
Spot in article. Parents are, and should always be, the primary guiding light and source of support and love for their children. The government and the school system have no business inserting themselves as divisive wall between parents and their children. Their actions introducing legislation to tear apart families and immediately affirm gender-questioning youth can be very harmful and the government encouraging schools to buy into their leftist ideology meant to break apart family units is wrong.
This all needs to stop! Parents need to take their families back and push back on schools and legislators violating our constitutional rights.
Margaret Erlandson Sorensen 2 months ago2 months ago
The publication of this article in an education periodical is deeply disturbing. If a high school, or college student were to offer it as offering legitimate support for a view, one would hope that their teacher might challenge them to examine the quality of the source. It bears numerous indicators of propagandistic and manipulative strategies. In the opening paragraphs the author posits, without evidence, that parents are routinely being denied access to their students’ education … Read More
The publication of this article in an education periodical is deeply disturbing. If a high school, or college student were to offer it as offering legitimate support for a view, one would hope that their teacher might challenge them to examine the quality of the source. It bears numerous indicators of propagandistic and manipulative strategies.
In the opening paragraphs the author posits, without evidence, that parents are routinely being denied access to their students’ education records (assuming that education records include any indications of gender exploration, or conversations—which may be far from the reality). It further advocates for legislation to “return to parents their constitutional position as overseers of the education, care, custody and control of their children.” What is missing is any indication of where such position is constitutionally defined.
The article continues with the use of loaded vocabulary (detransitioners, desisters, incongruence, gender confusion) which has been deliberately created to counter proper terminology used by recognized experts and to support the (unfounded) belief that trans persons are simply “confused” and their realities are best denied until they acquiesce. The article uses this terminology to discuss their (unproven) belief that children “routinely change their minds about gender.” They offer up the new term “psychosocial medical treatment” to describe social transition, in order to give the illusion that such transition is something that is done to a child by others – rather than a collection of their own choices regarding such things as manner of dress, choice of activities, name and pronouns. But the implication that this is a “medical treatment” supports their claim that schools and teachers are (inappropriately) foisting something on gullible students.
The decision of any LGBTQI+ person to be “out” concerning their identity in fact has far more nuance than the article recognizes. Some adults who are fully out to friends and even in their professional life may remain closeted to family members. In an ideal world, every trans child, teen and adult would have an understanding and supportive family willing and ready to walk with them in their journey. Sadly this is not the case. It should be noted that for those trans young people opting for medical transition (puberty blockers and hormones), parental involvement is required.
Advocating that schools have an automatic obligation to make the choice for students to be out to parents, regardless of their age, or preference, is deeply disrespectful. Attempting to force such policies through propaganda pieces such as this one is an irresponsible choice for an education publication.
Replies
Margaret Erlandson Sorensen 2 months ago2 months ago
For one view of the school-home interaction from the viewpoint of a trans student, see: https://www.ted.com/talks/nicole_maines_the_trans_story_includes_you?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare or read Becoming Nicole.
Chris 2 months ago2 months ago
Thank you for speaking up for parents and for advocating to maintain parental rights in education. As an educator and parent, I find it so disconcerting that we have reached this place where schools are teaching body dissociation within the sex education curriculum (ask to see yours), which goes against biological reality. This is a mentally destabilizing framework that is creating confusion during a stressful and vulnerable time for adolescents, puberty. Since my district adopted … Read More
Thank you for speaking up for parents and for advocating to maintain parental rights in education. As an educator and parent, I find it so disconcerting that we have reached this place where schools are teaching body dissociation within the sex education curriculum (ask to see yours), which goes against biological reality.
This is a mentally destabilizing framework that is creating confusion during a stressful and vulnerable time for adolescents, puberty. Since my district adopted their new sex-ed policy, I know many students who, during puberty, place themselves under the “trans” umbrella which only exacerbates dysphoric body image issues.
Gender used to mean masculine and feminine in relation to languages, until someone somewhere decided it meant something different. These new terms “gender identity” and “gender expression” used to just be personality traits that required no medical interventions. Why would we, as sound minded individuals, endorse a movement that encourages body dissociation and body modifications? Beware, pharmaceutical companies have found a way to market directly to children to create medical patients for life. (watch Dopesick series for more insight). The grownups (educators, therapists and doctors) need to wake up to the medical harm that is happening with this newest social contagion, and stop spreading bad ideas. No one is born in the wrong body.
Please advocate for parental rights.
Samuel Alfred 2 months ago2 months ago
Great article. Several years ago my child socially transitioned in school without us knowing. Mental health became worse. We didn't know it was because our child was realizing it wasn't working out, and was deeply embarrassed. School staff does not know history of child, mental health status. And they are not experts in gender dysphoria.My kid's school listened and reversed course, probably because I am gay and they didn't have whole picture of my kid. … Read More
Great article. Several years ago my child socially transitioned in school without us knowing. Mental health became worse. We didn’t know it was because our child was realizing it wasn’t working out, and was deeply embarrassed. School staff does not know history of child, mental health status. And they are not experts in gender dysphoria.My kid’s school listened and reversed course, probably because I am gay and they didn’t have whole picture of my kid. My teen is mostly ok now, but we cannot reverse the high school years.
Debra Klein 2 months ago2 months ago
My children, my responsibility. Whatever happened to schools not being allowed to even give kids aspirin? Whatever happened to just teaching kids math, reading & science?
Jane 2 months ago2 months ago
Thank you for this article. We are a loving and supportive family. Our daughter was socially transitioned and renamed as a boy at school - with he/him pronouns - because she is a run-of-the-mill tomboy. There was no turning back on this whimsical choice, since the school enforced and demanded compliance by all students and teachers. Now, two years later, she is sickened with wrong-sex hormones, has lost her life direction and has rejected … Read More
Thank you for this article. We are a loving and supportive family. Our daughter was socially transitioned and renamed as a boy at school – with he/him pronouns – because she is a run-of-the-mill tomboy. There was no turning back on this whimsical choice, since the school enforced and demanded compliance by all students and teachers.
Now, two years later, she is sickened with wrong-sex hormones, has lost her life direction and has rejected us, her family. Schools should not be forcing compliance with children’s fantasies. This replacement of reality with fantasy must be stopped – we are losing our next generation of creative children to a pit of self-destructive fantasy. They become so ashamed of their lies, but compulsively driven to try to make their fantasy a reality that they cannot participate in family life or normal society.
Anne D 2 months ago2 months ago
Well stated! As a licensed educational psychologist that has supported families with a range of needs, including students with gender dysphoria or those who are socially influenced by gender identity ideology, we are required to acknowledge the responsibility of PARENTS as they make decisions about the upbringing of their child. We help parents through a collaborative process to focus on the needs of their child and to maintain family bonds to lead to the best … Read More
Well stated! As a licensed educational psychologist that has supported families with a range of needs, including students with gender dysphoria or those who are socially influenced by gender identity ideology, we are required to acknowledge the responsibility of PARENTS as they make decisions about the upbringing of their child. We help parents through a collaborative process to focus on the needs of their child and to maintain family bonds to lead to the best results for their child.
Some educators are posing the biggest threat to safety – they are not qualified to assess the consequences of social transitioning and medical
interventions that gender-dysphoric students
may desire or demand. Therefore, exclusion of parents, results in harms caused to vulnerable children including interference with healthy development and medical risks.
AB 1314 would have upheld best practice, as eloquently stated in this article.
A Teacher 2 months ago2 months ago
While I agree that parents should be informed about what is happening in the life of a child, I am unsure if I want to be responsible for keeping parents informed about this aspect of the their child life. School is supposed to be a safe place for all students. If a student has the courage and trust that we will at least hold space for them to express or explore different identities, how do … Read More
While I agree that parents should be informed about what is happening in the life of a child, I am unsure if I want to be responsible for keeping parents informed about this aspect of the their child life. School is supposed to be a safe place for all students. If a student has the courage and trust that we will at least hold space for them to express or explore different identities, how do we protect that right and trust while informing parents without violation of the student’s trust and idea that school is supposed to be a safe space?
I do absolutely agree that we have a responsibility to inform parents about dangerous or harmful behavior. However, I am not sure if it would be my place as a teacher to inform a parent of a child exploring their gender identity or sexual identity… I wonder about this because as a teen I was outed and thrown out of the house because my identity was incongruent with my parent’s religious beliefs.
I think that in many cases if the child is not communicating about their identities to their families there is something amiss in the home and the child may not feel safe to express themselves… As a parent, it is my job to create a safe and supportive environment for my child to express and be who they say they are at any given point in time of their lives. Making schools solely responsible to keep me informed feels uncomfortable and frankly feels like I am not doing my job well as a parent.
Is the legislation more about rooting out alternative identities and expressions that make us uncomfortable under the guise of protecting parent’s rights or is this legislation truly about protecting students? Where do we draw the line? Is there a line? My career should not be dependent on legislation demanding that I out students and possibly put them in harms way.
And as an academic coach in my school district, I have yet to see any lessons being provided by teachers that is discussing the fluidity of gender identity or schools providing advice or access to hormone blockers. I am just not seeing what folks in support of this kind of legislation is reporting…
Colleen Cochran 2 months ago2 months ago
Gender identity issues are complex. Methods for dealing with individual cases require in-depth scrutiny. Affirmation should not be a go-to solution, and parents should not be banned from looking out for their children’s best interests.
Kyle Knight 2 months ago2 months ago
Being a teenager is by definition an identity crisis. Passing laws that assume all parents are abusive, extricate parents from any knowledge or involvement of their child's gender transition that often involve permanent, life-long medical interventions, and done in secrecy by the K-12 school with one's child, is literally organized child abuse from the top down. When given an opportunity to rectify such bills, California’s Assembly Education Committee chair, Al Muratsuchi, turns a … Read More
Being a teenager is by definition an identity crisis. Passing laws that assume all parents are abusive, extricate parents from any knowledge or involvement of their child’s gender transition that often involve permanent, life-long medical interventions, and done in secrecy by the K-12 school with one’s child, is literally organized child abuse from the top down.
When given an opportunity to rectify such bills, California’s Assembly Education Committee chair, Al Muratsuchi, turns a blind eye and refuses to even grant a hearing on AB 1314. Shame on Al Muratsuchi!
Kasia Williams 2 months ago2 months ago
California Parents Union is one of the supporters of AB 1314. AB 1314 would simply set a needed guidance to improve communication between school administrators, teachers and parents. Parental involvement is needed when children are going through challenging times. Keeping parents unaware of their child's social transitioning at school has no legal ground. Moreover, it is unethical as it encourages keeping secrets from parents and lying to them. Unfortunately, there is a need for AB … Read More
California Parents Union is one of the supporters of AB 1314. AB 1314 would simply set a needed guidance to improve communication between school administrators, teachers and parents. Parental involvement is needed when children are going through challenging times. Keeping parents unaware of their child’s social transitioning at school has no legal ground.
Moreover, it is unethical as it encourages keeping secrets from parents and lying to them. Unfortunately, there is a need for AB 1314 as some school districts are not informing parents of their child’s transition at school. It is disappointing that the chair of Assembly Education Committee won’t even hear the bill. Makes you wonder if one of the reasons is the amount of support AB 1314 has received? I wonder how many letters in support of AB 1314 were submitted.
These are all valid questions. By not hearing the bill, the public doesn’t have access to the bill analysis. Thank you, Erin, for sponsoring such an important piece of legislation. I hope parents will now request their local school boards to adopt AB 1314 verbiage to draft resolutions to keep parents informed.
Thank you Erin for this great article!
Brenda Lebsack - Teacher 2 months ago2 months ago
Excellent points by a San Francisco Democrat Lawyer. Thank you Ms. Friday! This is not a political (cultural war) issue, it is a humanitarian/ethics issue. Policies that mandate school personnel to lie to parents is wrong and a betrayal of trust. As an elementary teacher in a Title 1 district, we have books teaching kindergarteners that their gender can change like the weather based on their feelings and that there are infinite … Read More
Excellent points by a San Francisco Democrat Lawyer. Thank you Ms. Friday! This is not a political (cultural war) issue, it is a humanitarian/ethics issue. Policies that mandate school personnel to lie to parents is wrong and a betrayal of trust.
As an elementary teacher in a Title 1 district, we have books teaching kindergarteners that their gender can change like the weather based on their feelings and that there are infinite pronouns to choose from. This is intentional confusion. The definition of non-binary according to the CDC is “gender creative” meaning kids (any age) can now “make up” or “create” their own genders. At this rate, every child in public school is going to be labeled “Q” for “Questioning” their gender, and if parents try to protect their kids from this lunacy, they’ll be labeled abusive. This is upside down and scary, especially if Child Protective Services gets involved.
On a positive note, on April 12, 2023, the Orange County Board of Education, unanimously voted on a policy (5-0) to implement the tenants of AB 1314 on a local level, which says school personnel must notify parents in writing within 3 days, if their child identifies as a different gender at school. Hopefully this proactive parent right policy will sweep across California.
Karry Mchugh 2 months ago2 months ago
Thank you for writing about this important topic. Sadly, schools are adopting policies that are dictated by very wealthy activists who are pushing their agendas on the false pretense of being progressive and inclusive.
These policies are confusing children and are causing them significant mental health issues. Schools should be held liable for causing harm to children.
Susan Edelman 2 months ago2 months ago
The primacy of the parent-child relationship should be honored. Gender ideology — because it requires rejection of reality — is deeply harmful to children, both psychologically and physically. We are destroying an entire generation with this iatrogenic “care”.
Tracy Henderson 2 months ago2 months ago
This article is excellent. It may be the single most important issue facing parents today.
Renee M. Marcelle 2 months ago2 months ago
Thank you for your article. More people need to be aware of this. Many of us left-leaning folks got sold a bill of goods, and sadly most remain “too kind” to speak up about it for fear that they may appear un-woke. For the good of a generation of youth, please do them the favor of doing your own homework on this one.
Christina Goeke 2 months ago2 months ago
Parents are the most important resource for their children. It is frightening to think that so many people in society think it’s a good idea to separate children from their parents. And to what end? To become wards of the state? So now the state knows best? How very un American! This is tyrannical to say the least. The only time a child should be removed from their parent is in the case of abuse. … Read More
Parents are the most important resource for their children. It is frightening to think that so many people in society think it’s a good idea to separate children from their parents. And to what end? To become wards of the state? So now the state knows best? How very un American! This is tyrannical to say the least.
The only time a child should be removed from their parent is in the case of abuse. Not letting a child practice self-harm in the form of hormones and surgeries is not abuse, it is the opposite. We should protect children and guide them. We should teach our children self-love and self-care. We have a duty to protect children from Big Pharma and unethical surgeons.
Olga Flores 2 months ago2 months ago
Thank you for publishing this article. As a longtime LGB ally living in San Francisco, my son came out as a trans girl after spending the pandemic on social media. All of his other interests were abandoned and replaced with an obsessive compulsive drive to look and dress more female. It started with hating his body during puberty, suffering extreme insecurity over not being athletic enough, and being rejected romantically. Such feelings and experiences are … Read More
Thank you for publishing this article. As a longtime LGB ally living in San Francisco, my son came out as a trans girl after spending the pandemic on social media. All of his other interests were abandoned and replaced with an obsessive compulsive drive to look and dress more female. It started with hating his body during puberty, suffering extreme insecurity over not being athletic enough, and being rejected romantically. Such feelings and experiences are a normal, though difficult part of puberty.
The social media he consumed told him he was trans and that he would be happier if he took puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones, and the sooner the better. In his fight to individuate as a young man, he moved sideways instead of advancing into adulthood, and decided he didn’t want to grow up at all, but rather to be a girl. It took a lot of love, a therapist who works with kids experiencing gender dysphoria, and time for him to think and grow outside of social media. We stood firm against any medical interventions and several months after his 18th birthday he desisted. He is now a much more confident and happy version of himself. Had we followed the current trend, he would have been on puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones, damaging his mental acuity and physical body.
One item that many don’t realize is that puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones can greatly diminish one’s ability to experience sex and orgasm, particularly for transwomen. Indeed, these are similar treatments to those that they once gave to gay men to cure them of their homosexuality. Families need to be involved when their children go down the rabbit hole called the Internet and form new identities; and schools should make sure that they are involving the families, as we all support young men and women together to make wise and healthy choices about their bodies and minds.
Oxana 2 months ago2 months ago
Thank you, Erin, for an excellent article and for all the Our Duty hard work. Many times, I feel that here in California there is no hope at all. Shame on Al Muratsuchi and everyone who is taking away the most important life support that children have - their family. A family's role is to safeguard children from mistakes, to tell hard truths and to stay together even when things are very hard. With this … Read More
Thank you, Erin, for an excellent article and for all the Our Duty hard work. Many times, I feel that here in California there is no hope at all. Shame on Al Muratsuchi and everyone who is taking away the most important life support that children have – their family. A family’s role is to safeguard children from mistakes, to tell hard truths and to stay together even when things are very hard. With this decision Al Muratsuchi is personally responsible for destroying many families and wrecking innumerate life of children.
DaBa 2 months ago2 months ago
What if schools were encouraging gun ownership? Then would those that want the State to come between parents and kids be ok? It can cut both ways. Out of the bedroom and the family room
Josh 2 months ago2 months ago
It's shocking that we're even having this conversation. At what point did the state decide to usurp the rights of parents as a matter of course? While accusations of abuse by parents of gender-questioning teens sound scary, where is the data to back it up? And further, shouldn't all parents be, at the absolute least, granted the courtesy of presumption of innocence as our laws instruct in every other situation? Parental involvement should be the … Read More
It’s shocking that we’re even having this conversation. At what point did the state decide to usurp the rights of parents as a matter of course? While accusations of abuse by parents of gender-questioning teens sound scary, where is the data to back it up? And further, shouldn’t all parents be, at the absolute least, granted the courtesy of presumption of innocence as our laws instruct in every other situation? Parental involvement should be the obvious default position to any reasonable person, and yet the need clearly exists to pass laws solidifying that right as these politicians demonstrate. We are truly living in the upside down, where parents need to fight to protect our fundamental rights from encroachment by the state.
Georgeanna Bendt 2 months ago2 months ago
Dear Parents, It’s too late for my child. Nearly 8 years ago i too thought my son’s online role playing (somewhat obsessively) was curious but probably harmless. His school had not yet been infected with gender ideology. I was busy with a full time job, running a household and enjoying traveling with my friends. "The kids are alright." I look back in horror at the progression of this madness. My child has descended into life as … Read More
Dear Parents,
It’s too late for my child. Nearly 8 years ago i too thought my son’s online role playing (somewhat obsessively) was curious but probably harmless. His school had not yet been infected with gender ideology. I was busy with a full time job, running a household and enjoying traveling with my friends. “The kids are alright.”
I look back in horror at the progression of this madness. My child has descended into life as a lifelong medical patient, living off of public assistance and the kindness of strangers, still existing in mostly a virtual world. 10 short years ago, none of us would have believed the things we are seeing in schools today. Please don’t be me. Ask questions, get involved and for the love of god, get an idea of what is on the internet that any child, your child, and your child’s friends are viewing regarding transgenderism, pornography, role playing, (My Little Pony).
Your schools, politicians, healthcare professionals and clinicians are telling us they know your child better than you do.
It’s going to take all of us!
Don’t let them do that. The few parents who are beginning to speak up are called transphobes and right wing nuts. We are not either of those things. We simply love our children and want what is best for them. Your child’s school should not be parenting them without your involvement.
Thank you for reading.
Don’t be me-educate yourself!
Georgia Luber 2 months ago2 months ago
Keeping secrets from parents assumes that we are the enemy. We are not the enemy. We want what is best for our kids and the state needs to stay out of it.
JudeeSee 2 months ago2 months ago
No adult should be keeping children’s secrets. Any adult who thinks it’s OK to keep a secret from a parent about their child-especially such a potentially life altering one-should not be trusted with children. It’s a parent’s job to take care of their child-especially if they are going through such a confusing time.
Mona S. 2 months ago2 months ago
This is a great piece. It seems like parents are being painted with too broad of a brush and schools and school counselors are empowered to believe they are superior parents and act in ways that alienate kids from parents. This misleading narrative that trans youth will commit suicide if not affirmed and that parents are cruel and not accepting is harming kids and families. Kids who don't have the wisdom to make more careful … Read More
This is a great piece. It seems like parents are being painted with too broad of a brush and schools and school counselors are empowered to believe they are superior parents and act in ways that alienate kids from parents. This misleading narrative that trans youth will commit suicide if not affirmed and that parents are cruel and not accepting is harming kids and families. Kids who don’t have the wisdom to make more careful decisions are weaponizing it against the very people who best know their child are truly working to appropriately care for and love their children.
Tiffany 2 months ago2 months ago
Thank you EdSource for publishing an excellent article that represents parental and family rights. It's amazing we have come so far that this is even an issue. Schools may be in charge of a child's education, but they are not in charge of their life. Schools and teachers hiding childhood issues like gender dysphoria or incongruence from parents is reprehensible, teachers seemed to have forgotten their role in society. With the … Read More
Thank you EdSource for publishing an excellent article that represents parental and family rights. It’s amazing we have come so far that this is even an issue. Schools may be in charge of a child’s education, but they are not in charge of their life. Schools and teachers hiding childhood issues like gender dysphoria or incongruence from parents is reprehensible, teachers seemed to have forgotten their role in society. With the suicide rate as high as it is for transgender people, everyone should be informed when a child is considering a transition, it should certainly not be hidden.
Beth Bourne 2 months ago2 months ago
Excellent article, thank you. Parents need to know what is happening in our CA public schools around gender and the push to socially transition students with or without parent involvement. https://www.realityslaststand.com/p/breaking-new-documents-reveal-shocking
Laci Olson 2 months ago2 months ago
I’m so glad to see this being called out. It’s time that people see what is happening in California’s schools. We need to stand up and fight!
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eileen 2 months ago2 months ago
Here, here, Laci! I totally agree. The absurdities our public schools have adopted and are trying to enforce are, well, absurd.
Eleanor Sledwick 2 months ago2 months ago
Disappointing that EdSource would lower itself to publish such dreck. How about a reality check:
“The caucus said in a statement that AB 1314 ignores that not all trans and nonbinary youths have loving and supportive families. Fewer than a third of trans and nonbinary youths said they viewed their home as a safe and affirming place, according to a 2022 survey by the LGBTQ advocacy group The Trevor Project.”
https://www.sacbee.com/news/politics-government/capitol-alert/article274169880.html
Replies
Tiffany 2 months ago2 months ago
An LGBTQ group that conducted a survey that found themselves to be victims?? I’m shocked!!
Elizabeth Silva 2 months ago2 months ago
That study, like others pushed by activist groups (which most often get funding from pharma companies that make the puberty blockers, etc.) is severely flawed. Read this partial critique: "The study was not a randomized trial, but was based on a voluntary online quiz which found trans youth through targeted ads on social media and offered $50 prizes to respondents. In the Trevor Project study, transgender youth who took hormones were 8-14% less likely to … Read More
That study, like others pushed by activist groups (which most often get funding from pharma companies that make the puberty blockers, etc.) is severely flawed. Read this partial critique: “The study was not a randomized trial, but was based on a voluntary online quiz which found trans youth through targeted ads on social media and offered $50 prizes to respondents.
In the Trevor Project study, transgender youth who took hormones were 8-14% less likely to report recent depression or seriously consider or attempt suicide in the last year compared to transgender people who wanted but did not receive hormones. At 15%, transgender individuals who had taken hormones were still about 3,000% more likely to have attempted suicide in the last year compared to the general population. The results excluded data on transgender youth who did not want hormone therapy, who comprised 36% of the transgender and nonbinary respondents.
The Trevor Project study stated that researchers were unable to control for the effect of parental support in improved outcomes, as every respondent who said they took hormones also had at least one supportive parent. It’s unclear whether parental support, rather than hormonal medications, could have driven the slight improvement in mental health since researchers were unable to examine those variables independently.
Researchers also noted that those with histories of suicidal thoughts and depression may have been less able to seek out hormone therapy, which could confound the results.
These issues were not mentioned in the brief conclusion of the Trevor Project study, which claimed the “findings support a relationship between access to [gender-affirming medical treatments] and lower rates of depression and suicidality among transgender and nonbinary youth.”
Mona S. 2 months ago2 months ago
Hi Eleanor, The problem is that many teenagers are ofter very unreliable narrators, especially teenagers who are struggling with belonging, depression, neurodivergence, and mental health disorder as the vast majority of trans-identifying youth are. Yes, some are in difficult homes. But my and many other trans-identifying kids are coached by social media to weaponize the idea that being non-affirming or advocating watchful waiting approach is inherently abusive so their parents are automatically labelled as abusive. … Read More
Hi Eleanor, The problem is that many teenagers are ofter very unreliable narrators, especially teenagers who are struggling with belonging, depression, neurodivergence, and mental health disorder as the vast majority of trans-identifying youth are.
Yes, some are in difficult homes. But my and many other trans-identifying kids are coached by social media to weaponize the idea that being non-affirming or advocating watchful waiting approach is inherently abusive so their parents are automatically labelled as abusive. Its a chicken or egg situation. If we have a black and white belief about affirmation, then yes, parents are “Abusive.” And then they spread that narrative with friends, schools, and unwitting adults.
I will tell you that before my child butted heads with me about transition, they butted heads with me about alcohol and drugs. They had heard about harm reduction and weaponized it to say that I should allow them to get drunk and use drugs at 14 since they know how to be “safe.” Then when we talked about it with the clueless school counselor, it was clear that they were snowed by the counselor into believing that my spouse and I were overcontrolling.
My spouse and I were both professionals in mental health and child development. I train others on good mental health practices and parenting. But my mentally-ill child had told them all kinds of tales to get the therapist to validate their story. It was my first taste of how children can manipulate adults and schools and how parents are not actually being treated as partners in schools, even the best and most committed parents.
Gigi L 2 months ago2 months ago
Not affirming a child’s new name and pronouns does not make them “unsafe.” Parents are not transphobic because they won’t put their healthy kids on blockers/hormones/get them surgery – that is what is actually “unsafe”. If the Trevor project is so concerned about the safety of this population, then why are they providing chat rooms where 13 year olds get to talk with adults? https://nypost.com/2022/09/01/mom-discovers-depravity-in-trevor-projects-trans-chat-room/ I’m a liberal Democrat and pro gay marriage/pro choice.
jim 2 months ago2 months ago
Do you want to emancipate and then adopt the kids? Until then their parents are in charge.
Eleanor Sledgwick 2 months ago2 months ago
Or Child Protective Services.
Elliott Swimmer 2 months ago2 months ago
Excellent piece. Only someone who doesn’t actually care about these kids would advocate for schools to reinforce the destabilizing notion that their parents are the enemy. Assuming, without evidence beyond the claims of an adolescent — who is developmentally at the stage of rebelling against their parents — that their parents don't have their best, and long-term, interests in mind is absurd. Even for children placed in the foster care system due to a parent’s … Read More
Excellent piece. Only someone who doesn’t actually care about these kids would advocate for schools to reinforce the destabilizing notion that their parents are the enemy. Assuming, without evidence beyond the claims of an adolescent — who is developmentally at the stage of rebelling against their parents — that their parents don’t have their best, and long-term, interests in mind is absurd.
Even for children placed in the foster care system due to a parent’s drug use or instability, reunification with parents is always the goal because the data show that children don’t do well when raised apart. Parents have had more than enough of schools pushing gender nonsense and working against families. It’s time for schools to realize that this ideology is a senseless family-destroyer and that they are participating in that destruction.